self meet self

self, this is me talking. you need to wake up. be realistic. of course they share a bed. of course they share more. they go to therapy. they live together. they share their lives. you share nothing. please wake up. i beg you. they are liars that value themselves each only and hide that selfishness behind a seemingly noble stance. please, self, open your eyes. he doesnt love you. he never never did. not even for one moment. dont you ever believe he did. he never had any intention for you to be the exception. not for a moment. self, please get off the merry go round. he will never come for you. self, you were labelled the sacrificer. you are still doing it. you have sacrified two years for a bag of shit who would rather cheat a woman out of love, a child out of true family, a soulmate out of connection. self, you dont even know what you want anymore. we're lost, self. your 'who' is so buried in the subconcious of us that you can even tell self what you want. i suspect, self, that you are in defense mode. i suspect, the walls are everywhere. even where you feign they arent...not one soul sees you anymore. some look past and one looks through. but self, no one looks at you. no one can see you because you have mastered the illusion of another self that even you can no longer see.