for as long as i can remember, i have been wondering about my future. as a little i remember playing house and wondering what my life would be like when i was 'big'....like, when i was 28 (ha).
i never was the little girl who dreamt of white weddings...i was weird even then...i just wondered about when i would find my other half and what that would feel like.
as i got older, i came across many paths...any one of them could have led to the 'white wedding'. but i didnt want that..because the wonder never ceased....it told me something more right was out there - or so i hoped.
for a fleeting moment in my life, the wonder ceased. one. fleeting. moment.
it was not a moment that held all the answers. it was not even necessarily a moment free of fear. it was not even a moment 100% full of happiness. however, it was a moment of supreme comfort in the realization of my true self with someone and seemingly their true self with me. yes, maybe that transparency came in a vacuum....but if you cant achieve transparency alone together...you certainly have no chance of achieving it any other way.
one moment. bliss.
one moment gone. terror.
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